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44 Funny and Random Wine Quotes

Throughout the last several hundred years people have often pontificated about wine. From famous artists and politicians to anonymous writings that attempt to capture the meaning of wine, below I have complied and listed 44 funny and random wine quotes that I would like to share.

-Scarpace

1. It’s always wine weather.
2. You had me at Merlot.
3. A meal without wine is called breakfast.
4. Penicillin cures, but wine makes people happy.
5. For when the wine is in, the wit is out.
6. I make wine disappear, what’s your super power?
7. An empty bottle of wine is better than a filled one. It shows achievement.
8. Wine is one of the most civilized things in the world.
9. A gourmet meal without a glass of wine just seems tragic to me somehow.
10. In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.
11. A glass of wine keeps the doctor away; a bottle of wine would keep everyone away. I think I’ll have a bottle.
12. I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
13. More wine, less whine.
14. Wine is a given.
15. Beer is made by men, wine by God.
16. “I drink wine to make other people more interesting.
17. A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.
18. Compromises are for relationships, not wine.
19. Coffee keeps me busy until it’s time to drink wine.
20. Wine rejoices the heart of man and joy is the mother of all virtues.
21. What wine goes with Captain Crunch?
22. Reality is just an illusion that occurs due to lack of wine.
23. Better is old wine than new, and old friends like-wise.
24. I just rescued someone’s wine, it was trapped in a bottle.
25. I tried cooking with wine. Didn’t go so well. After 5 glasses, I forgot why I was even in the kitchen.
26. Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.
27. The only thing I can cook is white soup; the only ingredient is white wine.
28. Men are like wine – some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
29. I’m like old wine. They don’t bring me out very often, but I’m well preserved.
30. Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever.
31. You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy wine and that is sort of the same thing.
32. One not only drinks wine, one smells it, observes it, tastes it, sips it and one talks about it.
33. Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.
34. Either give me more wine, or leave me alone.
35. Spilling your glass of wine is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon.
36. My only regret in life is that I didn’t drink enough champagne.
37. A glass of wine is good for your health… The leftover in the bottle is good for your morale.
38. I’m a wine enthusiast. The more wine I drink, the more enthusiastic I get.
39. If you walk a mile in my shoes, you’ll end up in a wine bar.
40. She gets to keep the chalet and the Rolls, I want the Montrachet.
41. Anyone who tries to make you believe that he knows all about wines is obviously a fake.
42. The only thing I throwback on Thursdays is a glass of wine.
43. Life is too short to drink bad wine.
44. “Give me wine, get my wisdom” – Scarpace

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It’s hard to catch me not wearing a hat!

Every since I was kid, I have enjoyed wearing hats and caps of all different kinds. As a teenager, I mostly wore my hat sideways or backwards and slightly tilted for that true O.G. gangster look, lol. I apologize if you happen to be someone that looked at me funny back then and then got punched in the face. Damn, I was such a trouble maker, but also I was a crazy taste maker at the same time. I remember choosing various hats purely for the colors and to have them match my pants or shoes. So many times, I remember being the first to wear a specific sporting team hat or certain colors only to watch others mimic me and copy my style, sometimes within just a few days.

From baseball caps, to fedora hats and even golfer style caps; I have been through many different types of hats and styles over the years. Most people associate me with some sort of hat that they remember me wearing. Naturally and even as a teenager, I would custom order specially designed hats and brands with creative colors, wording or original logos. Sometimes it was just fun to have a baseball cap embordered with a message stitched with a fancy text that wrapped all the way around the hat. Yes, I have even been known to wear a clown hat or two from time to time. Today, I am very specific as to the design and overall look of any hat that I decide wear on any given day. If you are like me, wearing a hat is much more than just that. A nice hat can be bold, tell a story or reveal things about you just by the way it looks or how you are wearing it.

-Scarpace

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Finding a new lucky charm can improve your fishing game!

Fishing! Oh yes, I wish I was fishing right now. From the beaches of the Gulf of Mexico to the deep sea, to any lake, pond or creek; I enjoy a good fishing trip when possible. Most fishermen won’t admit it, but you will always have your good fishing days as well as your bad fishing days. Every fishermen has their own stories to tell and is quick to share their own story of the one huge fish that got away. I like to personally fish for all sorts of fish including bass, catfish, snapper, drum, crappie, carp, trout, shark and more. I mostly fish for sport, but will sometimes go on the hunt for a delicious meal. Mmmmm, I can remember the taste right now; red snapper is so tasty when caught fresh in the gulf and served for dinner on the same evening! C.P.R. (Catch, Photo, Release) is also a fun part of the sport for sure. Documenting your catch and creating memories of your favorite fishing trips are a must. Also, if you’re like me; having a lucky charm or two is always fun to have while fishing as well. More luck equals more fish right? So, I believe that finding a new lucky charm can improve your fishing game!

As a friendly reminder; please be gentle, non-startlingly, and brisk with Sharks specifically. Many people do not know this, but Sharks are actually very sensitive to being startled and can suffer heart attacks fairly easy. They are also very sensitive to stress in the same way. So please, just remember that if you ever catch a Shark of any kind, be prepared to deal with it in a calm manner and return it to it’s natural habitat as quickly as possible.

-Scarpace

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I love dogs and if you are like me, they are family!

Dogs have been part of my life in one way or another for almost all of my life. I love them all. How could you not? Dogs are more than your best friend, they are family. Poodles, dachshunds, malteses, chows and all sorts of mixed up domesticated breeds have all been part of my life. Dogs are great companions and can be your best buddy. I am not so sure about all the dog licking and kissing, but I can safely say that my dogs seem to be cleaner than some humans that I know. I love dogs and if you are like me, they are family!

-Scarpace